Being Well When You're Sick

My mother - and two teenage boys I never met - changed my ideas about wellness.   Here's what happened...

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My Mother and the Teens

Bruises covered one skinny arm and her ankles were a swollen purple mess. Someone had helped her out of bed, but she barely made a dent in the little armchair that faced it.

The drone of her oxygen machine drowned some of her words. But I filled in the blanks from the warmth in her eyes and the smile on her lips near the cut that had just been stitched.

My mother was peaceful.

I couldn’t connect her contentment with her typical crankiness, her frequent falls and last night’s ambulance ride.

Yet, now there was a glow about my mother. It would grow for months, but I wouldn’t understand it for years.

Light the Way

     Late one night, a drunk lost his keys in the middle of a dark block. A few minutes later, a friend found him searching for the keys under a streetlight on the corner.
     “Why are you looking here when you lost them in the middle of the block?” his friend asked.
     “Well, the light is better here,” responded the drunk.

Of course we laugh at the foolish drunk. But many of us show a similar lack of common sense in searching for better health.  We’ve focused our attention and dollars on what doctors do. However, the greatest – and perhaps easiest - gains will come from focusing on what we do as patients – especially when close to 50% of us don’t follow doctor’s orders.

For the past few years, I’ve asked the same questions to hundreds of people in dozens of settings: “Who has more control over your health? ...The people in Washington debating health care reform? ....Your doctor? ...Or you?”